What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 04:24

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
How does it feel to be in a marriage without any love?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
What smell will you never forget?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
How can I watch porn on TikTok?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
What are some very specific groups of people you just cannot stand?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.